Take my love, take my land / Take me where I cannot stand / I don’t care, I’m still free
So, toward the end of November I found out that I joined the less than exclusive group of Americans who were being preyed upon by scam artists. Con men. Flim-flam experts. Etcetera. Sounds exciting right? I mean, what was the last movie you saw featuring a conman that wasn't loads of fun? honestly. I know I have enjoyed every con artist movie I have seen, even the really bad ones. Matchstick Men. Lies & Alabis. Confidence. The Sting! And that is just the preliminary list of best and worst off the top of my head. The point is that Con Artists are awesome! At least, that was what I used to think.
I know that I have already talked with some of you about this situation. Hopefully you won't mind sitting through this story a second time, because I find it amusing to no end.
The last week in November I receive this email from a very nice Irish girl thanking me for the email I sent her. She went on to express that she was very interested in me, and wanted to get to know me better. I do have a public profile on Myspace (obviously), Facebook, and also a personal profile on Yahoo Personals. As I read through her email, I found myself searching my memory trying to figure out if I had contacted this girl through one of those online sites. I think we can all agree that I am not always the most focused or retentive person, so it made sense to me that I may have sent her an email and just did not remember. So, I sent a short and courteous reply back to her asking how we knew one another and if I was missing something that was painfully obvious. (Let's face it, I do that a fair amount) She emailed back, completely ignoring my inquiry, filled with exuberance and joy that I had responded.
Obviously this set off every paranoid alarm inside my head, and I began to search for answers about who this woman was, and what her scam was. All in all that paranoia filled week was pretty tense. I was on edge trying to learn how to trace her IP address, which is fairly simple to do with a fantastic site called http://www.whois.org/index.php . Of course her IP address was masked, which made things even more interesting. From there I spent time trying to learn how to trace a masked or hidden IP address, researching the domain provider for the email account she had, and also researching ways to ensure that she wasn't piggybacking or hacking my system. Obviously I scanned every email and attachment with two virus scans and a spyware program. I knew that she was not for real, I just couldn't figure out what con she was playing. I figured that there had to be some kind of electronic mischief at play, and I was going to be damned if I was going to be beat. Maybe some kind of keystroke memory worm that she could use to hack my online accounts? Maybe some way to lift my credit cards or bank account information? And, of course, the ever dreaded identity theft which I am often known to make light of. After all, there is so little to be stolen, unless you count debt.
Perhaps I ought to back up for a brief second, and share a little bit more about the down home Irish country girl who was so happy to be speaking with me via email. Her name is Asy, which is short for Anastasyia. Both of her parents died when she was young, and she lives in a small Irish village outside of Cork in a stone building which was left to her by her parents. She works as a fitness instructor in the village, and loves the ocean. When she would write to me she always wrote with extremely broken English, explaining that English was her third language after Irish and Polish. Also, she always attached one or two conservative photos of herself with every email.
Going back to my stressful search of who this woman truly is, and what she wanted. I finally found a way to trace the host server for the IP address that the emails were being sent through. When I researched the host server I found some interesting information. Apparently the very same Host Domain was brought up on a number of formal charges in January and February of 07 for a Russian date scam. Apparently hundreds of people received emails from Russian women who were overwhelmingly grateful to find the love of their life in an American. The early version of the scam involved the women asking the men for $400-$800 for fees related to the process of attaining a Visa to come to America to visit. The later version of the scam, which was a little more involved, revolved around a large cash deposit needed to leave Russia or frozen accounts after the travel plans were established. That version would involve sums ranging from $300 to $1500. The bottom line is that these "women" would assure the men, via email, that they loved them and then ask for money. And, apparently, many men gave them money. Which, I don't think I need to mention, they never got back. And the women, obviously, never came to visit.
Imagine my dual shock and relief when I found out that the con I was being plied with was as simple as "Hey, I love you, can I have some money?" I was trying to insure that these people were not electronically stealing my tidbits of electronic self! I was terrified that I had somehow crossed a hacker or Billm Gates or something. Nope. Nothing of the sort. So, again, obviously I was relieved that I was still relatively electronically safe. At the same time, I was disappointed that the con was so utterly ridiculous. Could you imagine Paul Newman and Robert Redford stooping to such a ridiculous low? Above and beyond that, this person has been emailing me for over six weeks (numbering 16 emails) Who puts in that kind of time and energy for $400? Seriously? I suppose the same scam is applied to hundreds of people at the same time, and it is the volume that makes the payday worth it. I guess. I just wish that it was a little more inventive.
Just for the sake of Robert Jackson, in case he reads this, let me quickly address the possibility that this is ACTUALLY an Irish woman who is looking for friendship. And, in my jaded and cycnical condition, have written "her" off as a pathetic con-person. Well, that would be a shame. I have to admit, if that IS actually the case, I will certainly feel lower than a bag of dicks. With that officially out of the way, let me return to my rant, because this is totally NOT a real person. As I said, she wrote to me in broken English. But every once in a while, particularly when she would talk to me about love or her dreams, the context of her letters would become much clearer. That struck me as odd, so I did a Google search on some of the text that was almost perfect English. What I found was a series of posted emails from the Russian girlfriend scam. There were dozens of these, and most of them were contextually identical. In fact, I found that almost 50% of every email she sent me was paraphrasing one of these emails, or directly cut and paste from one of these emails. I couldn't believe it. Not only was the scam lame, but there was an official script for the scam. Once I found that out, I couldn't help myself. I even commented to her in one of my replies that I was impressed with the excellent leaps and bounds she had made in her English whenever she wrote about love.
Here are a couple of examples of emails received from "Russian" women. Keep in mind as you read through them that people actually fell for this. Maybe, when this has fully played out, I will post the letters she sent me, with some of my replies. Unfortunately I only started saving my replies to her about halfway through the interaction. I knew I needed to save her emails, in case I needed to reference the IP address or file some kind of complaint against the host domain.
Some of you are probably wondering why I even continue to go along with this charade. I have found myself wondering that also. There have been a few times where I was ready to just stop. Send a complaint email to the host domain. Maybe send Asy an email letting "her" know that the jig was up. (Mostly just to have the chance to say, "The JIG is up!") And yet, despite my intentions to cut contact, somehow, everytime I got an email, I felt compelled to reply.
At first I thought it might just be an ego thing. At first it was an exciting mystery. I wanted to see if I was smart enough to figure out the threat and beat it. Then, once I realized that the threat was ridiculously simple, I basked in the knowledge that I was certainly not foolish enough to fall for the scam. Everytime I got an email, I enjoyed the knowledge that I knew what "she" thought I did not know. I even began sending little hints that I knew what was going on. My favorite was the email where I actaully parashprased a paragraph of the scam script back to "her". Every time hoping that "she" would give up, or come clean and admit that "she" was really a 47 year old man in Colorado. With each email, I realized more and more that "she" probably knows that I know. And ultimately it doesn't matter, because there is no actual crime until I send "her" money under false pretenses. So, "she" has nothing to lose but continue with the script. (Well, nothing to lose but time. Time I wholly intend to soak up for the sake of my amusement.)
Of course, the more that I thought about my fascination with this scammer, I realized that it was more than just feeling smart that I was better than the scam. Every email sent was filled with these heart felt words of flattery and optimism and hope and love. I found myself often being moved by the gratuitously flattering things that she was writing to me. I knew that it was not genuine, but I didn't care. I wanted to hear more and more of it. I will admit that I was a little surprised that as I read through these lovely emails that were stolen directly from a script used to solicit money from desperate men, that I enjoyed the sentiment. I knew it was not heartfelt or genuine, and yet I still enjoyed it. I enjoyed the illusion that I was special to someone else. I enjoyed the feeling that I could potentially have a meaningful connection with another human being. All the while I understood that it was all a lie. At the same time, I found myself reflecting on the fact that so many of the relationships that I have had with the opposite sex could very much be called into the same kind of question of authenticity. It brought to mind more than a few past girlfreinds who claimed to love me and care for me, and at the same time, who did horrible and hurtful things to me. It struck me that previous women, who I believe actually had genuine feelings for me, would treat me so badly. And this "woman" who had no genuine feelings for me would treat me so well. Even if the emails were 50% pregenerated, and even if nothin in the email was true, they were still typed and sent to me. I found that the sentiments were nice to hear even when they were not true. It occured to me how incredibly dangerous such craving could be in any situation, genuine or not.
While contemplating the ridiculous situation, I also realized that I have not really allowed myself to open up to any relationship in quite some time. There had been plenty of times in the last couple years when I thought I was making an attempt to date someone. Express an interest, put myself out there, yakety-schmakity. I thought that I had actually been trying to honestly connect with another human being. Observing msyelf interacting with a fictitious love interest from Ireland, I realized that I was being more open and honest with a con person then I was with any of the women I had tried dating. Obviously I knew better than to be open and honest with practical information that could be used to hurt me. But emotionally I was completely honest. Whatever I was feeling or thinking just poured out to this person who I knew cared nothing for me. And I felt ashamed that I had been so closed with people who I might actually HAVE a chance at establishing a relationship with.
As these realizations slowly sunk into my thick consciousness, I found myself feeling kind of grateful to the pathetic scammer who is presumably going to ask me for money to help with a plane ticket to the US to come and see me. I'm not sure that I would have come to understand those aspects of myself on my own with out Asy's timeful intervention. Truth be told, if I HAD money, I would not be opposed to sending "her" some cash. Of course, I don't, and I am not going to. In fact, I will probabaly feartily agree to send her as much money as she wants, and then lie about the money order. We'll see. Either way, it's funny the places where life's lessons come from.
And a little disappointing that Hollywood conmen are not real.
___________________________________________
Malcolm Reynolds: If someone tries to kill you, you go ahead and try to kill 'em right back!"
_________________
Zoë Washburne: Cap'n'll have a plan... always does.
Kaylee Frye: That's good right?
Zoë Washburne: It's possible you're not recalling some of the cap'n's previous plans...
Kaylee Frye: That's good right?
Zoë Washburne: It's possible you're not recalling some of the cap'n's previous plans...
No comments:
Post a Comment